What is enough?
What we’re talking about when we talk about enough and why there’s no universal answer.
“Barbara, we don’t have any more room in here.”
My grandfather holds a white casserole dish, tin foil crinkling between his oven mitts. He surveys the tabletop crowded with other casserole dishes, bowls, plates, cups, and tubs like someone who thought they’d finished work for the day only to have a stack of papers dumped on their desk.
“Well Bob, you’re just going to have to find a place for it. Move something around.”
He groans. I jump in and make space between the rolls and coleslaw by butting a glass bowl right up against my plate. “I bet it would fit right here.”
We all eventually find our seats and tuck ourselves into the table. I take it one dish at a time, careful not to let my food touch. (You too?)
After I stop grazing, my grandmother asks, “Well, have you had enough, Bird?”
"I'm so full I can't eat anymore. It was delicious."
My grandmother beamed.
But later, I asked myself, what is enough?
I asked my friends Merriam and Webster.
They told me that, as an adjective, enough means “occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations.” As an adverb it means “in or to a degree or quantity that satisfies or that is sufficient or necessary for satisfaction.”
Alright. So what does satisfaction mean? Answer: “fulfillment of a need or want” and “the quality or state of being satisfied,” with satisfied meaning “pleased or content with what has been experienced or received.”
My friends have told us so much. First, they tell us that enough is not a noun. In everyday conversation, we talk about enough as if it were solid, something you can put your hands around and hold. Here it is. I have enough.
Our instinct to use enough as a noun reveals what we’re actually talking about when we talk about having enough. What we’re saying is that we want to have enough of all the things required for us to be content with our lives. And currently, that starts with having enough money to secure those things.
When we talk about enough, the conversation often starts with something like, “I just need enough to do XYZ.” Or “If I had enough, I’d be happy. I don’t need to be rich.”
I get that you need financial resources to secure many of the things you value and reach a state of enough; however, this framing sets up a permanent dichotomy between wealth and enough that doesn’t exist in the value economy.
The definition of enough covers quantity, quality, or scope. The quantity, quality, or scope must fully meet demands, needs, or expectations. Moreover, I need to be pleased or content with the experience.
In the value economy, enough is based on what you value — it is distinct to each of us as individuals. The quality, quantity, and scope of what I need or expect to be satisfied is unique to me.
In other words, a life of enough for me will look drastically different than a life of enough for someone else, not solely in the resources required for it but what it even contains in the first place.
The other way we talk about enough starts with an aspirational guru describing a world where everyone has enough. Whether they realize it or not, their dream is underpinned by the assumption of a singular definition of enough that would require us all to agree to one set of values, one set of needs, and one set of expectations. That’s not a world I want to live in for various reasons, and honestly, I don’t believe it’s possible without force.
↭ Interjection↭ But what about basic needs, Katie? I mean, when I talk about people (typically other people because the person saying “everyone” is generally not talking about themselves but those other people out there) having enough, I’m talking about their needs.
Enough, by definition, requires you to be satisfied, à la pleased and content. What someone needs to have enough is based on what they value and what they've come to expect. Someone else needs to travel to be satisfied with their life. I have no need to travel because it's not something I value.1.
In our world of ever-increasing abundance, what we consider the basics continues to rise because our expectations for what we should have continue to rise. As a result, we continuously move the marker for enough. And that says nothing of the particulars of living in urban New York or rural Arkansas, which have different practical requirements.
Our expectations continue to rise because we compare ourselves to others who have more than we do.
Social media has put our natural tendency to seek acceptance and status on overdrive. We can easily compare ourselves to not only our neighbor but to anyone and everyone on the internet. Moreover, the platforms thrust this comparison on us whether we’re seeking it or not because everyone has a brand, creates content, and showcases their success. It’s all part of their idealized digital self. Combine that with these same idealized selves telling you that you too can make an easy million selling on Amazon if you pay for their course and follow their steps. Expectations through the roof.2
I have no problem continuing to raise our communal or societal baseline. But here’s where my second issue with framing enough as the opposite of wealth comes in: If I have enough of the things I value and am content with my life, I am wealthy3 in the value economy. Having more for the sake of having more serves no purpose.
In the value economy, we need to understand what we value and invest our resources accordingly. We also need to stop comparing ourselves to others. What someone else values and therefore needs to live a life of enough may (nay, likely will) look nothing like your own life of enough.
But to say we aren’t influenced by the other people in our lives would be naive — even if we disconnected from all our social feeds tomorrow. What we value gets shaped by how we’re raised, how we’re taught, and who we interact with. In many ways, this is how our expectations are set.
Perhaps more critically, it’s also how our wants are set. Wants can become needs, particularly when we think we’re being left out. Asking yourself, “Why do I care about this?” and, of course, “What’s the point?” can help you see whether it’s something you truly value or something you’re doing because someone else has made that choice for you.
As members of the value economy, we need to be conscious of how we talk about our enough. We can discuss the pros and cons of what we value or why we value something more than something else. We can share our contentment when we achieve a state of enough. But we also need to respect that others value different things for different reasons.
We also need to recognize that, in our abundance, the baseline of what we expect will perpetually rise, and it’s dangerous for one group to tell another what their definition of enough should be — particularly if they aren’t the one who needs to live that definition of enough.
Getting comfortable with the idea that more is not an end in itself would go a long way to breaking the false dichotomy between wealth and enough for good.
With many things, we will reach a point and say no, I don’t need more. I have enough. I’m content. Life is good.
But there are things where we never have enough, like my grandmother’s coleslaw.
Over a single meal, I will get full; in that aspect, I’ve had enough. But I value my grandmother’s coleslaw for more than the nutrients (or, debatably, lack thereof) it provides.
I value it because my grandmother makes it from scratch. I love her coleslaw more than any other I’ve tried. She knows that and goes out of her way to make it for me every time I come home. I know one day, she won’t be there to make it for me anymore.
And in that regard, I’ll never have enough.
[1] I don’t mean to suggest I don’t recognize the value of travel. I do. It’s simply not something I value enough to say I need it in my life.
[2] It’s worth noting that some people see other people on social media (or in their own lives) who inspire them and that can be positive. In other cases, we see people who raise our expectations for what we should have and when we don’t have it, we become envious.
[3] In the value economy, the point isn’t to create more — it’s to deliver value. At an individual level, wealth is defined as the percentage of time going toward value-driving activities and the degree of choice the person has in how they spend their time. Time freedom will need to be underpinned by a baseline of financial freedom, which will be different for each person depending on what they value and need to live.
⊗ Hey, I’m Katie. I’m the mastermind behind MatterLogic™, the only system for running a business in the value economy. I’m an essentialist thinker, Entrepreneur contributor, thoughtful speaker, and jargon slayer. I shift your focus by asking “What’s the point?” Connect with me on LinkedIn and subscribe to WTP to get more of my perspective.
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From @Kathryn Vercillo: On the etymology: "The word "enough" primarily stems from Old English "genōg." However, its origins could also be traced to Proto-Germanic "*ganog," where "ga-" denotes "with" or "together," and "-nog" means "fitting" or "enough." These elements combine to convey a sense of completeness or sufficiency when something is "fitting together" or "adequate."
There's something I really like about the idea that things are "fitting together" and that's when it is enough. I need to mull on it more but it feels like there's an essence of something powerful in there for me.
Katie, I don't know whether you are familiar with the movie Key Largo. A rapidly approaching hurricane traps a returning WWII veteran (Bogart) in a hotel on the island with a disabled innkeeper (Lionel Barrymore), the innkeeper's war-widowed daughter (Bacall), and a vicious gangster named Rocco (Edward G. Robinson) accompanied by a coterie of thugs. Your excellent essay reminded me of an iconic scene where the soldier interrogates the gangster about what he wants in life. "Rocco wants more...!" https://youtu.be/ITs-YX1yQ7o?si=ig28jdY_23NIZ9QT