Your story isn't a script
It's hard to tell your own story. Here's why treating it as a conversation will get you further.
“Sorry, I’m not really sure if I said that okay.”
That sentence follows 94%1 of the responses I get to the prompt, “So tell me more about you and your business.”
It's hard for people to tell their story. Getting clarity on your own story is like trying to get clarity on your own backside: you lack the perspective to find the points of connection and simplicity that make your story (not your ass) sing.
We tend to think of our story as a noun, a thing we draft and set like a script. This definition of story makes sense when you take a step back and look at how most of us understand the purpose of our story and how to create one.
Most people think of their story as a way to sell. When experts talk about storytelling, they inevitably conjure up fantastic narratives. They’ll also break down those narratives into formulas you can follow to nail your story. Inevitably, Apple and the Hero’s Journey show up in the slide deck.
I appreciate that part of the reason you tell your story is to sell. I also appreciate the role of formulas (not only the Hero’s Journey). But you have a story and tell it for more reasons than selling. While I’ve used formulas to help my clients shake out cobwebs or come at their stories from a different angle, formulas are the recipes of storytelling, and soon, they all sound the same. Moreover, formulas imply that your story is a script.
Your story is a conversation.
Your story isn’t a story unless you tell it to someone else. There’s also a key difference between your business story and something you pick up while browsing the Barnes and Noble fiction section: it evolves as you add new chapters.
Your story allows you to translate your business strategy — the value you deliver, the world you’re building, what actions you take to get there, and how you take those actions — into something powerful and accessible. In other words, it should communicate who you are, what you do, and why it matters. The purpose of your story is to connect with and ultimately engage all the people who make your business possible.
When we think about our story as a script, as a set of carefully wordsmithed sentences shined to perfection, we become rigid and self-focused.
Ever sat on a demo call with a sales rep who can’t deviate from their script? It’s a little painful. Not only because you can see the smoke coming out their ears when you ask them to go out of order but because they’re not engaging with you. They’re simply talking at you.
Conversations require an exchange. Your focus as the storyteller should be on the person you’re engaging. Are you meeting them where they are? Are you answering the questions they have? Are you providing them with the details they care about? Are you connecting with them as a human being?
Dropping the script requires an extreme level of comfort and confidence that you know who you are, what you do, and why it matters — and that you can communicate that using words that don’t sound like a marketer ran them through the snazzy word machine.
But Katie, you say, I’m not sure I believe all that. I mean, my blog, social media, and other marketing efforts all tell my story. It's all written down or recorded. That's not a conversation.
Au contraire.
As soon as you tell your story to someone else, it functions as a conversation. That’s how your story works. Here are three main areas where you’re likely telling your story and why they’re all conversations.
1. Your relationships are a series of conversations.
You’re likely engaged in some form of networking. Maybe you’re headed out to events or have an automatic LinkedIn connection campaign going. However you’re doing it, you have to talk directly to another human being.
You won’t talk to that person once. You’ll likely talk to them more than once to convert them from a prospect to a buyer, donor, or partner. Your exchange will need to adapt to the rhythm that fits them. You’ll also need to continue the conversation to keep them engaged. Ghosting does nothing for your relationships.
Moreover, you also have a relationship with your team members. You share your story in conversations with them from the moment you start recruiting them. (Or you should. It amazes me how many leaders don’t).
2. Your content is a conversation.
Yes, you have to set a piece of content to publish it. I’m willing to wager that you’re publishing content not only so people know you exist but also because you want the audience of that content to do something. That’s an exchange. You share something, and they take action in response. And at some point, you likely engage in direct conversation.
3. Your brand is a conversation.
You don’t control your brand. You control the choices you make and how consistently you make them. The reputation that forms in the minds of others — and how they go out and talk about you (*cough* conversation) — comes (at least in part) from them.
You can course-correct if they’re forming the wrong picture or lean into what you’ve been doing to burn your brand further into the world. Either way, you’re reacting to their perception of your business.
Okay, so if my story really is a conversation, how do I get better at having that conversation (otherwise known as telling my story)?
Start by embracing the fact that it’s not about you. The point of your story is the value you deliver. Then, understand that great stories aren’t about sticking to a formula; they’re about people. You deliver value to someone. Put ‘em front and center in all their special snowflake glory. The beating heart of your business, and a big part of what makes it distinctive, is who your people are and what you help them do, achieve, or experience.
When you sit down to get clarity on your story, think in terms of questions and answers. What do the people you’re going to talk to want to know? What language do they use to talk about it? Are you able to communicate the value you deliver and to whom?
Then, treat people as someone, not something. You’ll build stronger relationships when you care about the person. You’ll deliver better content when you create with a real human recipient in mind. You’ll build a better brand when you recognize that you build that brand with all the people who make your business possible.
And when you think of your business as a conversation, you’ll run a better business. Instead of the C-suite poofing up answers behind closed office doors, you’ll make the space to ask questions and strategically co-create your next steps with your team and the people you serve.
Bottom line: when you drop the script and engage in a conversation, you’re more likely to connect with the real human being across the table or Zoom room — because you’re behaving more like a human being yourself.
[1] This is 100% a made-up number.
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⊗ Hey, I’m Katie. I’m the mastermind behind MatterLogic™, the only system for running a business in the value economy. I’m an essentialist thinker, Entrepreneur contributor, thoughtful speaker, and jargon slayer. I shift your focus by asking “What’s the point?” Connect with me on LinkedIn and subscribe to WTP to get more of my perspective.
Nice essay, Katie! Often we are too wrapped in our own scripts to have good and necessary conversations. Opportunity for growth and mutual benefit lost on both sides!